Why Do I Reach?

First off, sorry for the absence for a week. We, like many, have been dealing with the flu! 

I was down y'all. 

I am never down, and I was down to the point of my husband 

taking time off work to care for our kiddos, because I could not, down. 

So I obviously was not up to writing. 

Here I am again. 

Humbly submitting what God has been teaching me over this time.

When we are sick, life stinks, because it keeps going! 

The kids still go crazy in the house, the dishes still pile up, the bills still come in, 

and the world keeps spinning even when we stop. 

But, I am doing much better and I am starting keep up with the world again. 

And today, God gave me this song as I was doing my quiet time. 

"Broken Ladders"

Selah

This beautiful song is covering me today.

As I listen, I keep asking myself why I try so hard to reach and make myself 

what I feel is worthy of God. Worthy of His love and grace. 

You see I am a type A personality. 

I am the middle child of three, but my older brother went into the Air Force when I was eleven, so I was what my mom calls her "Oldest Middle Child." 

This means I always strived for perfection. 

I am also a people pleaser, which translates to a "God pleaser", 

at least in the things that I think please Him.

I make my lists of things to accomplish in the day that I feel will make me worthy.

Quiet time = check

Bible Study with the kids = check

Clean living room = half-ish, not really, check

Laundry = check

Check

Check

Check

Climb, climb, climb! 

Trying to be complete in myself. Alone. 

Because if I am complete before I come to God, then I am doing awesome!

But this is absolutely not what we should be doing. 

All God has ever asked of us is to bring Him our broken and messy. 

To bring Him the five minutes of rest we get from the chaos of being mom and rest in Him. 

There is literally nothing I can do to earn it. 

You see a common theme in my life. 

I try to earn my salvation and God is constantly, graciously, reminding me I cannot!

Psalm 46:10

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;

    I will be exalted among the nations,

    I will be exalted in the earth.”

Be at peace. Stop climbing broken ladders that lead no where. 

Rest in Him, and seek Him first.

I am still in recovery mode, so I hope this all makes sense. Praying as you read this and listen to this song that you find rest, and stop striving. That you let go of the broken and reach for Him.